This interview with Adam Lane Smith, an avoidant attachment expert, discusses relationship dynamics between anxiously and avoidantly attached individuals. He explains attachment styles stem from childhood experiences, impacting adult relationships. Avoidant men, often highly disciplined and successful, struggle with intimacy due to low oxytocin. The key is clear communication, setting boundaries, and understanding the avoidant man's needs. Women must self-regulate, communicate needs directly, and understand that avoidant men show love through actions, not spontaneous displays of affection. Porn use is often a coping mechanism for stress and lack of oxytocin bonding. Building a strong, oxytocin-rich relationship, including a fulfilling sex life, helps resolve this. The interview also addresses manipulative vs. ethical avoidants, and the importance of consequences to encourage positive change in men.